Former X1/9 owners drooling and a joke

I'm done. I just spent the last three days training a group of engineers, three from the US, and one from Germany and one from England. When they arrived, they got out of their car, and they made a bee line for my X, which was parked in the lot. They sat there circling it for a few minutes before they came in and the introductions commenced. It turns out three of the five owned one in the past. One even asked me if it was for sale. Now the British engineer was somewhere north of six feet. It must have been a tight fit for him. He reminisced about the 'blinking' headlight modification he had performed on his...apparently, the ladies liked it. After the X1/9, he acquired an MG. This is where I took the opportunity to rib him. "An MG" I said. "Didn't those come with a self lubricating chassis from the factory"? Slightly shocked, he smiled, telling me he had never heard that one before. He thought it was quite funny, and said he had to remember that one.

There are a LOT of technical and famed car industry folks who have been exxe owners and many have VERY fond memories of their exxe.

This is congruent with the numerous Road & Track articles and many, many other moto magazine articles written about the exxe from that time.

Some time during the 90's all that changed and the exxe became the poster child of cheap heap Fiats, full of rust, cheap heap, un-reliable and ... This sped up the number of the exxe's sent to the crusher to return as made off shore ....


Bernice

Coupefan said:

I'm done. I just spent the last three days training a group of engineers, three from the US, and one from Germany and one from England. When they arrived, they got out of their car, and they made a bee line for my X, which was parked in the lot. They sat there circling it for a few minutes before they came in and the introductions commenced. It turns out three of the five owned one in the past. One even asked me if it was for sale. Now the British engineer was somewhere north of six feet. It must have been a tight fit for him. He reminisced about the 'blinking' headlight modification he had performed on his...apparently, the ladies liked it. After the X1/9, he acquired an MG. This is where I took the opportunity to rib him. "An MG" I said. "Didn't those come with a self lubricating chassis from the factory"? Slightly shocked, he smiled, telling me he had never heard that one before. He thought it was quite funny, and said he had to remember that one.

Click to expand...

6 footer in an X

If you search the UK form several of the taller drivers removed the spare tyre ( UK spelling) and relocated the seat rails towards the spare tire compartment. This allowed the seat to go back about another 4 inches.

TonyK.

Grimsby Ontario Canada.

Self-Lubricating Chassis... AND...

Lucas Lighting... The Prince of Darkness!

Worth re-posting I'd say...

The Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas Electric Products, Makers of the “The Original Anti-Theft Device”.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

Lucas denies having invented darkness itself, but they still claim inventing "sudden, unexpected darkness."

The Three-Position Lucas Switch - DIM, FLICKER and OFF. Three other switch settings available are SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, “It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas Engineering Staff that they had trouble with their designs shorting out. So they made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas also makes refrigerators.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sun-wise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

Most would be surprised to know that Lucas Systems actually use AC current, rather than DC; they just have a rather random frequency.

HA! And I once thought Magneti-Marelli and Bosch had problems!

Come to think of it... The Brits also were famous for their "Automatic Oil Recycling" efforts with their Jaguars and Triumph Motorcycles... Or was it kinda like animals "marking" their territory or where they have been?

I need a bottle of that! Ha! <nt>

British Cars...

Another nightmare on British cars were the wire wheels. I don't know how Italian wire wheels were, but on my 69 Triumph TR-250 they were a major PITA!!! :wall:

Tony Tony,

Enough already with the British car jokes. You guys need to be alittle more sensitive as many of you know i own a British repair and restore shop. I just happen to love X's a hell of alot more.

It's true and funny that many owners of these fine British machines make fun of their own cars and especially the electrical system.

My MGB buddy had a original "Lucas" headlight on his 1971 MGB... it soldiered on for decades... while the GE or Sylvania replacements from Wal-Mart on the other side of the car seemed to let go annually!

He's never bought the Lucas argument despite the jokes. Now, we did have to push start the thing for a while, but that was due to it only having one good battery that was taking a charge... the other might as well have been a block of pine or hickory with battery cables attached to it.

Then there's this...

"I was recently informed that this item, and the subsequent auction, was created by Craig Bolton, of Autodynamics in Belington, WV. He writes "It tickles me that the auction lives on via your webpage" and kindly gives me permission to continue to use it on this site.

Craig adds: "I have one confession to make- The unit was not actuially destroyed. It's currently in Atlanta, serving as a trickle-replenisher to keep the electrics going on Stacey Shepens' Lotus-Morgan race car. One George Wolf purloined the thing from our display case at Import Carlisle and spirited it south so he could use the time he normally spent hooking up the battery charger drinking beer and exaggerating his importance."

Enjoy... and if you happen to be in Belington, buy Craig a beer, OK?

Have you inadvertently let the smoke out of the wires on your classic British car? This, then, is the solution to your problem!"


http://www3.telus.net/bc_triumph_registry/smoke.htm

smoke

papa tony
did you write this missive on the lucas smoke??
It screams papa satire!!
I have not laughed that much looking at the computer screen since I saw myself on Skype........
mikemo

YOU HAVE NEVER admitted that before Tyrone...

HA!

Hey... like my 12 year old grandkid telling me BLONDE jokes and thought it was OK because she was a natural blonde...

So... let me apologize, its just RARELY do we as FIAT owners ever get a chance to poke others around...

I think one member's rant here recently said it all when he slowly passed a disabled Porsche in his X1/9 and shouted... "Fix It Again, Gunther!"

HA!

Back to my grand daughter for a moment... We were at a very crowded restaurant and while waiting, and then again at our table, she kept telling us "Blonde Jokes" that she picked up in her first year of middle school.

"Papa... What did one Blonde say to the other... " kinda thing, over and over again... and we were starting to gain attention of all those around us.

So as "politically correct" as I could be... I said rather loudly for the benefit of half the customers in the restaurant... that even though she was a Blonde herself, others could still be offended... I paused and she thought a bit, so I then offered. Why not substitute the word "Blonde" with the word "Martian"? Hey... I doubt there would be any Martians around to offend and if they were here, they're probably here illegally anyway... which drew a chuckle for many around us...

HA!

So she says OK... and then says, "Papa, Papa... There are these TWO Martians... and the Blonde Martian says to the other..."

I swear this is TRUE... and I think the entire restaurant heard it and roared with laughter!

OUTRAGEOUS... And no Moisa, I didn't write it...

as it woulda taken me YEARS to come up with this stuff.

I think ya gotta be fogged in for months at a time to be so engrossed on this topic. We have too many fair days in SoCal to be glued to our computers!

I am gonna bookmark this site though so when it does finally RAIN here 1/4 inch, I'll have something to do this winter.

Tony

That story about yer granddaughter is hilarious!

Regards