Looky here... Lucas Electronics Replacment...

Aaaahh, there ain't nuthin' like the smell......!

Black-Tooth said:
....This should work well with our Marelli and Bosch wiring as well with adapters...
http://www3.telus.net/bc_triumph_registry/smoke.htm
......
Click to expand...

....of British automotive Lucas wiring system smoke! :dead:
My first car I bought (in 1961) as a young feller was a 1936 Morris 10hp!!
It was kind of embarrassing taking a girlfriend out for a "drive :devil:" in it, when she would say "poo, wot's that awful smell - have you just f*rted or sumthin?"
I now blame my "youthful virginity" on Lucas "Prince of Darkness" electrical wiring systems!!

cheers, Ian - NZ
 
I love this from the Q & A:


Q: I have a fourteen year old son named Lucas who I have caught several times in the back of the garage smoking. Can this item help him to respect a little firm parental intervention and aid him in smoking less...or even stopping altogether?
A: Part of the problem may be the fact that you named your son after the Prince Of Darkness. Mayhap you should be happy that all you have caught him doing in the back of the garage is smoking! My suggestion is: since you already have spoiled him for life with his moniker, you search the 'Bay for a proper Little British Car to restore as a father-and-son project. That way, he'll have a way to fill the idle hours he'd have spent chasing girls had he been named Rocky or something more suitable. Plus, he'll learn first-handed how disgusting smoke can be
 
Q: Why do Brits drink their beer warm?

A: Because they have Lucas Refrigerators
 
OK Rob... for your eyes only...

LUCAS ELECTRONICS

The Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."

Lucas Electric Products, Makers of the “The Original Anti-Theft Device”.

Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.

Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.

Lucas denies having invented darkness itself, but they still claim inventing "sudden, unexpected darkness."

The Three-Position Lucas Switch - DIM, FLICKER and OFF. Three other switch settings available are SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.

"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...

If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.

Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.

It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.


[FONT=&quot] Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, “It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"

Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.

Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas Engineering Staff that they had trouble with their designs shorting out. So they made the wires longer.

Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas also makes refrigerators.

Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.

Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."

Most would be surprised to know that Lucas Systems actually use AC current, rather than DC; they just have a rather random frequency.

[/FONT]
 
Triumph motorcycle

In 1969 I bought a brand new Triumph Daytona 500 motorcycle. I barely had 500 miles on that 500 when one evening I was heading home and it conked out on me. I was sitting on the curb trying to figure out what was wrong when this guy that lived in the house across from where I was sitting came over. He seemed to know a bit about Lukas wiring and with in minutes had my bike running again. It had a Zener diode with a big cooling fin on it and that is what he said the problem was. As we talked I made comment on his knowledge of electrical on my motorcycle so he took me over to his house and showed me his two cars. An MG and a Spitfire. The guy suggested that I rewire the bike or at least upgrade all the connections and switches. I did go through the wiring and replaced a lot of connections but left the switches. I also bypassed the diode as suggested. I rode that bike for several years after that and never had another electrical problem. The British don't make computers because they can't figure out how to make them leak oil.
 
my god

where do YOU find this stuff??
having surfed the web for years, I finally found a bottle of unobtainum, and alas I never purchased it.
I think a while ago, I saw some off shore brands of lucas smoke with the name "flicker juice", or marvel mystery smoke. I don't remember. it's been so long since.
when the copious amount of tears from laughing so hard dissipate, I will read the last half.

oh big HA!!
mikemo
 
I would ride a Triumph TT500 of a friends...

It never failed me but was always temperamental to start.

It had no key, just a kill switch... and I just resorted to taking a few running steps and jumped on... slamming it into second. Worked every time unless someone was watching...
 
Hopefully you've caught up to the new millenium...

and have seen the Harbor Freight Tool Ads...

Click to enlarge and enjoy!







 
ads

where in hell do you get this s##t papa tony???
I just stopped laughing at the last humorous post, and the swelling in my eyes from laughing so hard has subsided.....now THIS?
ooooh now my chest hurts from laughing so hard and I have used another box of Kleenex to mop my eyes.
did you work for MAD magazine back in the day, or what???
I go on the forum to buy, sell, post insights on repair...and I find that I spend most of the time looking for your posts.
they can be insightful or downright hilarious.
keep it up papa!!!
and ya got my number.
the last phone call had me (you too) in stiches
mikemo :thumbsup:
 
Mike... I don't find this stuff... I LIVE THIS STUFF...

Its just a true reflection of my life... so it just kinda finds me.

That and... when AL Gore and I first developed the internet... we also KNEW from the beginning it could be a dry source of info, sales and the like... so we thought it over and added some HUMOR and (lots of) PORN... just to keep people stimulated... as it were.
 
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